FIVE WORD MONOLOGUE

The Wedding Reception Do you believe that I once went to a wedding reception held at a Busy Bee Carwash! It’s true….and to make matters worse; it was the wedding of a guy I once dated. I can tell you that my dad breathed a sigh of relief when that ended. His name was Charlie Brown, again, no lie. He was from West Virginia and at the time of his marriage worked at the carwash. He was one of those “great” guys that my brother-in-law hooked me up with. The wedding had been held at a nearby park with the Wedding March played over a portable tape player that squelched during the whole song as they were trying to amp it through a karaoke system. They had put up this little platform right by the pond and the ducks kept coming up thinking they were going to get fed. The Bride’s father kept trying to shoo them away. I don’t know which made the more noise, the ducks or the horrible sound system. There were about 25 of us at the wedding, standing there as they had not provided any chairs. Fortunately it was a very short ceremony. Then we all proceeded over to the carwash for the lavish reception. They had the buffet table down the middle of the carwash. They had those buttery wedding mints, pizza rolls, little crustless tuna & chicken salad sandwiches and a two tier wedding cake with a big Busy Bee on the top of it. They had no plates, just these cocktail napkins with ducks on them left over from an annual Ducks Unlimited fundraiser. The best man kept joking that he was going to hit the button to start the carwash during the dancing. The bride’s father invited us over to his house after the reception for a taste testing of the different Boones Farm wines! As the couple was departing and we were throwing the rice my brother-in-law leaned over and said, “And this could have all been yours.” Thank you, Lord, for my singleness.

(testing, fundraiser, carwash, mint, pizza)